“how i’m feeling now” Is The Essential Quarantine Album
Being in quarantine has been much more of a rollercoaster than any of us had initially expected. In the past 24 hours alone, I’ve felt excitement, dread, happiness, restlessness, productivity, and anger, just to name a few. This constant emotional turbulence is exhausting, but with Charli XCX’s newest album, how i’m feeling now, it’s never sounded better.
Just as it’s easy to go from happy to sad in a split second, these songs mesh beauty and noise seamlessly. Take “c2.0” for example, a re-remix of “Click” from Charli’s last album. Where “Click” follows a straightforward and jarring formula — quiet chorus, loud verses, quiet chorus, loud outro — with “c2.0”, it’s impossible to pinpoint exactly where bright synths end and harsh noise begins. The Dylan Brady-produced “claws” is, by far, the catchiest song here. The production embodies how it feels to be in love: euphoric and bubbly, but also uncertain and anxious. “detonate” recalls A.G. Cook’s signature heavenly arpeggios from the classic “Unlock It”, and upgrades them with a jittery, UK Garage-influenced beat. While how i’m feeling now serves as a showcase of Charli’s ability to write an infectious hook, it’s also a playground for her producers to manipulate her vocals and turn their own beats into twisted creations. In true Charli XCX fashion, no song ends the same way it started.
This isn’t to say that how i’m feeling now is just rehashing old ideas, though. Album opener “pink diamond” sounds like if a Bratz doll started a rap career during an apocalyptic quest for power, over a beat that’s equal parts Death Grips, Arca, and Future. It’s menacing, polarizing, and the most exhilarating song in pop music since, well, “Vroom Vroom”. Lead single “forever” is a love song written by Charli to her boyfriend, but with lyrics like “I’ll love you forever, even when we’re not together”, it can be easily adapted for missing family and friends. Paired with an emotionally overwhelming music video, graduating college, and current isolation, it’s enough to make a grown man shed a few tears. The biggest hit of the album comes in the form of “anthems”, a banger influenced by one of my favorite films of all time and undeniable masterpiece, Project X. When Charli starts it off with “I’m so bored, woo!” — I felt that. However, coming from someone who toured the country opening for Taylor Swift, held her own afterparty concerts at night, and then went to afterparties after those parties, that one phrase carries so much weight. This is Charli’s return to the bombastic pop music that propelled her to fame, with songs like “I Love It” and “Break the Rules”. “anthems” celebrates the little things about partying that might have been annoying before, but you find yourself craving them now, like hearing “no sounds when I’m shouting”, or feeling “heat from all the bodies”. Sure, it might not be the most essential thing right now, but you can’t blame someone for wanting to party.
how i’m feeling now is a perfect representation of the world we’re living in, equally peaceful and chaotic. As the first major artist to create and release an album made completely in quarantine, her strict six-week deadline caused a bit of concern. Thankfully, the finished product couldn’t have come out more refined and cohesive. For an artist who has been called “the future of pop” countless times, this album sounds more like the present than anything else out right now.
Pop music has a way of transporting you to the best times of your life. That’s never been more apparent than right now, as I blast “anthems'' out of a farmhouse in rural Michigan I’m currently self-isolated in, not a care in the world. At least, not for the 37 minutes I’m listening to how i’m feeling now.
Essential listens: pink diamond, forever, detonate, enemy, c2.0, anthems